When in Rome, do like the Romans, right? Anyone? It’s funny how I really believed people should oblige to that concept. It seems like a safe rule if you ask me! When you go to another country, you adapt to their cultures. Even if you're not accustomed to their ideas of ‘normal’, it would be impolite to if you didn’t even try to adjust.

Basically, you don’t go to someone’s house and leave your dirty dishes on the table or demand that you get to pick the channel on the TV, you merely go with the flow.

This whole argument came about because I was talking to a friend about having an international roommate. She’s a sweet girl, really she is. It’s just some of her ways are unconventional to U.S. customs.

There’s nothing wrong with being different, but people should not be mad about people getting offended by their offensive behaviors.

When you travel abroad, there are certain dress codes one should abide by. There are even different greetings, gestures and ways of eating.

Well, the U.S. has a culture of its own, does it not?

Shouldn’t these rules still apply too, when people come to the U.S. then?

Shouldn’t they adapt to US culture?

According to my friend, that’s not the case. Without getting into the personal matter and differences between my roommate and I, my friend does not believe people should conform when they come to this country.

How is that fair?

This individual argued that Americans should respect other cultures and be more embracing of foreigners who retain their cultures. She argued that this country is the ‘melting pot’ and it was built off of such differences.

Ok, she has a point, but the way she talks, America becomes more of a tossed salad (I heard someone say this somewhere…), where nothing quite blends at all.

While I’ve maintained my grandmother’s foreign habits, I haven’t just ignored that part about being American and being in the U.S.

But apparently this made my friend think of me as mindlessly being brainwashed into what I’m “supposed to be” or that I’m trying to fit the idealistic model and I’m betraying my true identity.

According to her, it’s wrong to deny my cultural backgrounds and it’s ok to ignore my American culture or even say America doesn’t have a culture of it own. I am a little offended that my friend was so easy to cast aside American heritage! I proclaimed it’s possible to be proud of both cultures and that I am proud to say I’m American.

To this, my thoughtful friend claimed my European background was not different enough from American influences and I have obviously never been exposed to my roommate’s culture and therefore cannot understand what it means to have a foreign background.

With this, I believe my friend to think of me as an ignorant, uncultured American even though I have taken many courses dealing with international culture, went to an extremely intercultural school, and attend the University of Pittsburgh!

How many ethnicities do we have here?

I think it might be safe to say I have run into a few people different from myself.

Pointing this out, my friend’s next claim was that because I am not of my roommate’s culture, I cannot truly understand.

True, but then can’t I say my roommate is not of my ethnicity, that she cannot
understand?

And what about the saying, "When in Rome, do like Roman’s do?"

How can it be that when I travel to another country I am expected to leave all ‘American culture’ at home, yet when a native of another country comes to the U.S. why must I adapt to their standards?

It seems to me that either way, my friend found a way of complaining about being American. And when it was all said and done, I was the one with no culture.

Express Your View

.Click picture to read my dad's memoriam:

Nov 01, 1941 - Dec 17, 2007

Reproduction or reuse for profit prohibited without written consent from Pittsburgh Standard