While we were growing up, she was the best domestic engineer. We always had our mommy to come home to instead of worrying about babysitters, etc. In our growing years, when I read Proverbs 31, it definitely reminded me of my mommy’s actions in those years. Even now, it reminds me of my mommy of how she used to live raising us and taking care of her beloved husband.

Proverbs 31 says, “If you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems! Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. She will not hinder him but help him all her life. She finds wool and flax and busily spins it…. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household…. She is energetic, a hard worker, and watches for bargains. She works far into the night!... She is a woman of strength and dignity and has no fear of old age. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says. She watches carefully all that goes on throughout her household and is never lazy. Her children stand and bless her; so does her husband. He praises her with these words: “There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all!” Charm can be deceptive and beauty doesn’t last, but a woman who fears and reverences God shall be greatly praised. Praise her for the many fine things she does. These good deeds of hers shall bring her honor and recognition from people of importance. (Proverbs 31:10-13, 15a, 17, 25-31, TLB)

When I heard my beloved dad say to my mommy, “There are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all!”, it reminded me of Proverbs 31. What a compliment he gave to my mommy as we were growing up, and that day’s words stuck with me even now.

All of us, including my dad, experienced our mommy live out Proverbs 31 while we were growing up. My mommy always helped my daddy in any way she could. My favorite memory of my mom taking care of my dad and all of us is when she would get up early in the morning before anyone got up just so she could spend time with the Lord Jesus praying and reading the Bible so when we all got up, she would be there for us preparing breakfast, etc. I never ever remember my mommy complaining. She did everything with the joy of the Lord.

Another memory is when my mommy would work far into the night, especially when I was studying. Anytime I wanted to do an all-nighter in high school or college, she would stay up with me to give me company. Her role as a mom did not stop in my college or even marriage years.

I cannot remember one unkind word my mommy ever said to my daddy or all of us. That is rare not to say one unkind word to a husband or children. Instead, she would always pray for us and pray with us to the Lord Jesus. Also, she always watched what went on in the household and was never lazy. She lived out, “She is energetic, a hard worker, and watches for bargains. She works far into the night!... She is a woman of strength and dignity and has no fear of old age. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule for everything she says. She watches carefully all that goes on throughout her household and is never lazy.”

If I had to give a job rating for my mommy as a domestic engineer, she would get 110%. She engineered the ins and outs of the household daily. Even until 3 years before my marriage, she was doing the same thing.

My beloved dad was diagnosed with renal disease and had to be on dialysis. My mom had always wanted to be a nurse but she gave that up to take care of all of us. When my dad needed home dialysis every day, my mom took care of all my dad’s needs with joy. She would tell me that the Lord answered her dream of being a nurse because she could take care of my daddy at home. My mommy did that for my dad until 2007 when he went to be with the Lord.

After my marriage in 2010, did my mom stop being a domestic engineer?

On the contrary, she would be there for my precious wife Chandraleela when she came to the states and had no one she knew except me and my mommy. When Leela was pregnant, my mom would take care of all the cooking, etc. When our precious child Esther was born in 2012, my mom would be the one who stayed up far into the night to take care of Esther so Chandra and I could get rest. No wonder Esther is so attached to her grandma even now after 11 years. Even to this day, she loves having sleepovers with grandma. In 2015, she did the same when our precious Evangeline was born.

Her domestic engineering did not stop even after my dad went to be with the Lord.. So, of course of all the jobs in the world that a wife and mother could hold, I think the best job in the world is being a domestic engineer out of choice but not obligation or coercion. This is what my mommy exemplifies even to this day.

We are all grown children, but mom always wants to make her children’s food when she is there. That tells me she never quit her job as a domestic engineer.

Why have I shared all this with you and reflected on all this?

It is because our experiences shape us in what we believe and want for our own lives.

So, before marriage, I prayed to the Lord that I wanted a wife who exemplified many aspects of Proverbs 31. I wanted a wife who wanted to be a domestic engineer by choice. The Lord Jesus gave that to me in my precious Chandraleela.

Even though Chandraleela worked as a registered nurse and dialysis technician taking care of dialysis patients, she gave all that up to be a domestic engineer for Esther and Evangeline until they went to school. She waited until our precious Evangeline turned 5 to work.

She remembered what her former pastor, Hugo’s wife Heather, had told her. If possible, it is best to wait to work until the children are 5 years old and go to school. She decided to do that to be there for her children as a domestic engineer.

I remember the time she was working when the kids came home, and they wanted mommy to give up that job so they could have her. She gave up that job, especially during the times Esther and Evangeline were home.

When my wife feels sad that she has not practiced nursing all these years, I remind her that her job as a domestic engineer is priceless to her daughters and even me. At the same time, I do encourage her to work if she wants to.

I share this because domestic engineering as a profession or job is looked down upon by many.

But who knows how many children would have fallen through the cracks if they did not have a domestic engineer as a mom 24-7?

That is not to say that mothers who work are doing something wrong. Sadly, necessity compels moms to work too many times. My wife has had to work many times. But being a homemaker should never be looked down upon because it is filled with blessings.

Don’t let the mainstream media influence you negatively to think something is wrong with you if you choose to be a domestic engineer as a profession by choice. In my opinion, you would have made the best choice because of my own experiences with my mommy and my wife.

But the mainstream media will crucify you if you talk about or give a speech on how great it is to have a domestic engineer as a wife or mom.

You need look no further than what happened to Harrison Butker, 28, the placekicker for Kansas City, the two-time Super Bowl-winning champions, when he was ostracized, criticized, and condemned for his speech to the ladies at the commencement address that took place at Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas.

When Butker stated, “For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment…I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I'm on the stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation… it cannot be overstated that all my success is made possible because a girl I met… [would] convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker." “I say all of this to you because I have seen it firsthand how much happier someone can be when they disregard the outside noise and move closer and closer to God's will in their life. Isabelle's dream of having a career might not have come true, but if you asked her today if she has any regrets on her decision, she would laugh out loud, without hesitation, and say, “Heck, No.”  (https://www.ncregister.com/news/harrison-butker-speech-at-benedictine)

For that speech, Butker was thrown to the wolves. However, that part of the speech was not incendiary. On the contrary, he was praising his wife for the awesome job she does as a homemaker.

 "A worthy wife is her husband's joy and crown; the other kind corrodes his strength and tears down everything he does." (Proverbs 12:4, TLB)

Of course, I would not have used homemaker to describe my mommy or my wife but used domestic engineer because they engineer the ins and outs of homelife. Don’t let anyone make you feel less valued because you chose to be a domestic engineer for your husband and children. The value of motherhood is priceless.

I am blessed to be married to a P.L.U.S. wife who is prayerful, loving, understanding, and supportive and who chooses to be a domestic engineer. Also, she would love to be in the workforce when the kids are in school. I support her 100%. No moms should be looked down upon because they give up their careers for their children.

What is important is that every child who speaks of their mother can say that Proverbs 31 describes her. That means work is involved whether it is being a domestic engineer or working outside the house.

Let us support people like Butker and all those who promote motherhood as the best job.

It is easier for me to agree with Butker’s speech because I have seen it firsthand in my own life, with my mommy being a domestic engineer and the difference it has made.

Now that difference continues with my wife when she cares for our daughters.

But let us never forget that being a domestic engineer should never be a coerced job but the choice a mother makes as she seeks the Lord with her whole heart. A husband needs to be there to support her whatever decision she makes trusting the Lord will guide her.

That said my hat goes out to all the mothers in this world who need to be appreciated more. It is a big thing for me to say ‘my hat goes out’ because I am bald. :)

May you be encouraged to know what a difference you can make as a mother as you trust in the Lord and live out your life.