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“Badness Brings Barrenness!”

Ramesh C. Reddy
Publisher

One day while I was taking a walk and talking to the Lord, I was wondering why some people don't get pregnant no matter how many years they try while others have so many children.

I had to wonder if sin could be the cause even though I knew, without direct sin too, people suffer because we live in a fallen world. Things going wrong in people's lives makes sense when they are sinful. There is ample evidence for sin being a cause for things going wrong but not always.

"Master," his disciples asked him, "why was this man born blind? Was it a result of his own sins or those of his parents?" (John 9:2, TLB)

The inference here is that the man's blindness was caused by his own sin or his parent's sin.

"Neither," Jesus answered. "But to demonstrate the power of God." (John 9:3, TLB)

The inference here is that a bad thing in our eyes is not necessarily the result of sin.

In another situation, Jesus found a man in the Temple, who was healed of paralysis after 38 years and told him,"Now you are well; don't sin as you did before, or something even worse may happen to you." (John 5:14, TLB)

The inference here is that the man's sin caused him to be paralyzed for 38 years. If he commits the same sin again after 38 years, something even worse may happen to him. Yet, in the Lord's grace, he asks the man, "Do you want to get well?"

As I continued to pray, the story of Michal, King David's wife came to my mind.

When I was watching the story of King David & Michal with my precious wife Chandraleela and our precious daughters Esther & Evangeline, I was reminded of what happened to Michal, David's wife, who was the daughter of King Saul.

"So Michal was childless throughout her life." (2 Samuel 6:23, TLB)

I was very disturbed when I read this because Michal's lifetime barrenness was a result of her unspoken and spoken actions towards her husband King David and most of all towards the Lord. I was utterly shocked how mean a wife could be towards her husband even when he is doing something for the Lord.

"As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart." (2 Samuel 6:16, NIV)

We should never forget that the sins of the father/mother can be passed on to their children. King Saul had an issue with King David and shows it by his actions. Now, his daughter seems no different than her daddy.

"When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, 'How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!" (2 Samuel 6:20, NIV)

Ouch! Michal used a phrase such as 'any vulgar fellow would' towards her husband.

How would you feel if you had just come home after worshipping the Lord before the people and your spouse insults you after you come through the door?

How would you respond?

"David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD'S people Israel--- I will celebrate before the LORD. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor." (2 Samuel 6:21-22, NIV)

It is so sad that David felt humiliated by his own wife when he came home. Not only that but he felt he was held in honor by slave girls compared to his own wife. Even in this humiliation, he is letting his wife Michal know that 'It was before the LORD' that he was doing it and not necessarily for the sake of the slave girls.

What I did not like about David's statement was that he did not end it at "It was the LORD, who chose me". Instead, he rubs it in that he was chosen over her daddy or anyone from her house. I know David was hurt by his wife's behavior but there was no need for him to put her family down.

I hope we never put down our in-laws like David did.

It must be so hard to be in a marriage where the husband or wife expect more allegiance to them than even the LORD. This is what we see with Michal where Michal wanted King David to behave in a certain way that pleased her over the Lord.

Otherwise, she would not have despised King David for dancing before the Lord.

"And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart." (2 Samuel 6:16, NIV)

How painful it must have been for King David to be rejected by his own wife because he chose the Lord!

When I was pursuing a match on Shaadi.com for marriage purposes, my mom was praying for a daughter-in-law who would love Jesus more than she would love her own son. She wanted my wife to love Jesus more than me.

I asked the Lord to give me a wife who would love Jesus more than me! I never wanted my wife to give me first place over the Lord. That's why even when she would call me from India, 'I would ask her if she spent time with the Lord?'. If she answered 'No', I would request her to spend time with Jesus first praying and reading the Word of God before calling me. Then, we would share what we learned in God's Word over the phone. In our courting days, I found out that my precious Chandraleela also prayed for a husband who would love the Lord more than her.

In our 10+ years of marriage, if I have been doing anything with the Lord in mind, my wife never gave me pain or humiliated me like Michal did to David. If I was doing it with the Lord in mind, even in pain she supported me. I am so blessed to have a wife who understood if I was doing something before the Lord, she went along with it even if she did not always 100% agree with it. A husband needs his wife's support to do the Lord's work without humiliation like King David went through. I am so blessed to have that from Chandraleela.

"A worthy wife is her husband's joy and crown; the other kind corrodes his strength and tears down everything he does." (Proverbs 12:4, TLB)

"A father can give his sons homes and riches, but only the Lord can give them understanding wives." (Proverbs 19:14, TLB)

Do you think King David and Michal's marriage was ever the same again?

I don't think so! Sadly, Michal was cursed with barenness all her life after her interaction with her husband! What a terrible price to pay to go against the LORD and his anointed one.

We don't hear about Michal again in the next five chapters but a new character is introduced.

"One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, "She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite." Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her...Then she went back home. The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, "I am pregnant." (2 Samuel 11:2-5, NIV)

What King David did was utterly wrong commiting adultery with Bathsheba.

We have Michal who never became pregnant in her life as a punishment for her actions. Her sin caused her barenness.

We have Bathsheba who became pregnant in her life after sleeping with King David. David and Bathsheba's sin caused the death of their baby.

Is it more painful to be barren and never experience pregnancy or is it more painful to experience pregnancy and lose the child right in front of you?

When I thought about Michal's sin and the consequences because she not only went up against her husband but against the Lord, I was really saddened. She paid a heavy price for challenging David and humiliating David for doing the Lord's work.

For the most part, any woman who gets married wants to be a mother. To lose that ability can be so painful. It is that much more painful when it has to do with specific sin because it could have been prevented.

Based on this. it is not wrong to wonder if a woman really wants to get pregnant and she is not getting pregnant, is their any sin in her life or her husband's life that he/she has not repented of?

Even though, Pastor Josh did not preach about barenness this past Sunday, I loved his sermon on exhorting the congregation never to make the mistake because God is love, He won't judge people's sins.

If any woman wants to get pregnant and she is not getting pregnant, it is so easy to blame the husband for not getting pregnant, etc but what if it is deep sin in the family?

Is their mockery and animosity towards the Lord like Michal had?

Is their marital conflict between husband and wife like Michal had it with David?

Is their family conflict, unforgiveness, bitterness, hatred, vengeance, envy, etc in the family?

Is their sexual sin, etc involved in marital relationship?

I think these are valid questions to think about when we reflect on Scripture.

Our sins needs to be confessed and repented of before moving forward with a family! What is comforting to know is that the Lord can in His love and grace even open the wombs of barren women that they may be fruitful and multiply in His timing.

"Then Abraham prayed, asking God to cure the king and queen and the other women of the household, so that they could have children; for God had stricken all the women with barrenness to punish Abimelech for taking Abraham's wife." (Genesis 20:17-18, TLB)

Ouch! One man's actions not only caused barrenness for his household but for all the women of the household.

So, never ever think your sin will not affect you or those around you!

"But because Jacob was slighting Leah, Jehovah let her have a child, while Rachel was barren." (Genesis 29:31, TLB)

It is so important to remember that Jacob loved Rachel more than Leah! But because of his actions towards Leah, her sister Rachel suffered. Jacob would have rather had children with Rachel than Leah but Rachel was barren while the Lord allowed Leah to have children.

"Rachel, realizing she was barren, became envious of her sister, "Give me children or I'll die," she exclaimed to Jacob. Jacob flew into a rage. "Am I God?" he flared."He is the one who is responsible for your barrenness." (Genesis 30:1-2, TLB)

How sad and convenient for Jacob to blame it on the Lord and not look within himself for his sin.  We are so quick to blame others when things don't go our own way without looking into ourselves. I have been so guilty of that too!

When Chandraleela wanted to be a mother so badly, she was not conceiving. It was really sad for us every month when we knew she was not going to get pregnant. But, I always reminded her that I married her for her whether we ever have children or not. But, I also told her in the Lord's timing and in His grace, He could open up her womb so she can be pregnant. By the Lord's grace, in September of 2012, she gave birth to our beautiful daughter Esther. Then, we wanted to have another child but for 3 years nothing was happening, so we prayed if there was any sin in our life that was preventing her from being pregnant, please forgive us Lord. By the Lord's grace, in May of 2015, she gave birth to our precious Evangeline.

From these experiences, I know that even if we cannot pinpoint sin in our life that is deliberate, because we live in a fallen world, sometimes things don't happen as we wish they would happen. But the most important thing I learned is that the Lord's timing is not our timing and sin should never be in the back of our mind.

We should never put ourselves in a position where we wonder if our wife has not conceived, is it because of her sin or the man's sin?

Even though it is painful, it is better knowing a wife has not conceived even though the family has been righteous than knowing a wife has not conceived because there is blatant sin without repentance.

This reminds me of Pascal's Wager.

Pascal's Wager states, "If you don't believe in God and God exists, there is Eternal Damnation or Hell. If you don't believe in God and God does not exist, nothing happens. If you believe in God and God exists, there is Eternal Life or Heaven. If you believe in God and God does not exist, nothing happens."

In the same way, "If you sin, then barrenness could exist, and it is a fault of your own. However, if you don't sin and barrenness could still exist, it is NOT a fault of your own."

I would rather have a man/woman live their life knowing barrenness was not a result of sin rather than knowing barrenness was the result of sin.

Why take the risk?

You won't have to wonder that, if you are right before the Lord and your fellow man.

Does it mean wicked women will never conceive?

Not necessarily. They could but there is no guarantee. Even if they did, it is the Lord's sovereign grace that allowed it for His purposes.

No one should ever have to wonder, 'what if my negative actions caused my barrenness?'.

"What if you lived your life being righteous but have not conceived?"

Even though it is painful, you can rest in the Lord knowing He has His perfect timing for you to conceive. If that is not going to happen, if He wants a husband/wife to be parents, He will provide other ways such as foster case, adoption, etc.

I loved Pastor Josh's sermon reminding us that it is better to suffer for being righteous than to suffer for doing sinful deeds this past Sunday.

"Do what is right; then if men speak against you, calling you evil names, they will become ashamed of themselves for falsely accusing you when you have only done what is good. Remember, if God wants you to suffer, it is better to suffer for doing good than for doing wrong!" (2 Peter 3:16-17, TLB)

"Never pay back evil for evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honest clear through. Don't quarrel with anyone. Be at peace with everyone, just as much as possible. Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God, for he has said that he will repay those who deserve it. Don't take the law into your own hands. Instead, feed your enemy if he is hungry. If he is thirsty give him something to drink and you will be "heaping coals of fire on his head." In other words, he will feel ahamed of himself for what he has done to you. Don't let evil get the upper hand, but  conquer evil by doing good." (Romans 12:17-21, TLB)

Even though Abraham & Sarah and Zechariah & Elizabeth were barren, in the Lord's timing, He gave both of them children. We read about Abraham's faith and Zechariah's righteousness. Still, until they were old, they did not conceive.

If you are faithful to the Lord, you never have to worry about what will happen. He will take care of you and give you the strength to move on no matter how much painful it is. I know because I have seen loved ones suffer wanting to have children and not having them without a fault of their own. They are the kindest people I know! In the Lord's timing however after adoption, they were able to have their own. Others still struggle but rest in the Lord.

We only have to worry if our actions do not reflect how the Lord Jesus wants us to live our lives!

To be on the safe side, if my wife and I want to have a third child, we need to examine ourselves to see if there is any sin in us that has not been repented of. We never want to have to wonder if sin is a result of not getting pregnant if we try for a third child. I know I don't want to wonder about that as I think about God's Word.

"God doesn't listen to the prayers of those who flout the law." (Proverbs 28:9, TLB)

In closing, I want to end with a Scripture passage that Pastor Josh so wonderfully preached on from 1 Peter 3.

"You husbands must be careful of your wives, being thoughtful of their needs and honoring them as the weaker sex. Remember that you and your wife are partners in receiving God's blessings, and if you don't treat her as you should, your prayers will not get ready answers." (2 Peter 3:7, TLB)

"And now this word to all of you: You should be like one big happy family, full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds. Don't repay evil for evil. Don't snap back at those who say unkind things about you. Instead, pray for God's help for them, for we are to be kind to others, and God will bless us for it." (2 Peter 3:8-9, TLB)

"If you want a happy, good life, keep control of your tongue, and guard your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Try to live in peace even if you must run after it to catch and hold it! For the Lord is watching his children, listening to their prayers; but the Lord's face is hard against those who do evil." (2 Peter 3:10, TLB)

Reddy's Right Rhetoric takes you into the world of sin's fruit of barrenness without repentance!

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