Editors note: This is a rebuttal to Rose
Afriyie's sex column, "Relationships part two: when to emotionally invest."
which appeared in the Pitt News on Sept 06, 2005.
Have you ever received a kiss that you felt was the kiss of a
lifetime or have you given someone a kiss that they considered to be
the kiss of a lifetime?
Yet, a kiss of a
lifetime for me would be during wedding day as I wait upon the Lord
to send the right person my way who loves the Lord more than she
loves me. In this way, we can have a triangular relationship with
the Lord being in the center of our lives.
Why
am I even talking about kissing?
In response
to Rose Afriyie's sex column, "Relationships part two: when to
emotionally invest.", I want to talk about kissing first and
then about sex. Kissing itself can be seen as an emotional
investment.
I also want to talk about kissing
because I saw
this awesome movie called ‘Pamela’s Prayer’ where she prayed to the
Lord that if he sent a boy her way that had never kissed another
girl before, she would know that is the guy for her. She herself
decided to not kiss anyone though peer pressure of her classmates
was making it hard.
There is more to
this story than what I mentioned but I don’t want to give it away so
you can watch it. If you want to borrow my copy, you can.
Now, I want to get
back to talking about kissing. I feel kissing should wait until
after the wedding is performed. By the way, I am not talking about a
kiss that a parent gives to their child, a kiss on the cheeks, or
even a holy kiss as the Bible talks about. I am talking about
romantic kissing.
Wouldn’t it be neat
to be with someone whose heart is for that special person they wait
for without giving themselves physically to anyone else, even with a
kiss! I do not think it is a sin to kiss someone before marriage but
I want to wait.
I want to save my
first kiss and anything sexual for that one special person the Lord
sends my way, who would want to be my bride. My hope and prayer is
that I can find that special person who would also wait for her kiss
to be on my lips and her sexual affection to be with me after
marriage.
Sadly, society
cheapens sexuality with all the immorality that is associated with
it but I believe sex is good because God is the One that blessed
sexual activity in the right context. Anything that is good which is
abused can become bad or seem bad but that is not what God wants sex
to be.
Ask
yourself, do you care if someone you love shares themselves
physically with another person even if it is just a kiss?
As
a guy, if you have a girlfriend and as a gal, if you have a
boyfriend would it bother you to see them kissing someone else or if
you knew they did that?
More than likely,
most people will say, "YES!" But, why should it matter if it was
just a kiss. It matters because there is a bond involved in the
aspect of kissing too. If a kiss of another person can upset you,
think how much more sexual activity can upset you.
The
other day I saw a friend of mine crying and I asked her what was
wrong?
She told me how
people were talking that "all guys cheat on their girlfriends and it
is normal"
She just felt so
bad of what is happening to society and people’s non-commitment to
one married relationship in faithfulness.
As a guy, would you fit that statement because
you have cheated on your girlfriend even if it is just a kiss?
I hope not! That goes the same for gals.
Unless a person is
obsessed with another person and is so insecure, they do not mind
their boy/girl friend talking to other people or spending brief time
with others but when it comes to kissing and sexual activity it does
matter. It should!
I believe a kiss of
a lifetime would be the first kiss given to someone on your wedding
day without giving it to anyone else.
When it comes to
relationships, it seems like people do not care what they watch on
T.V or the movie theaters anymore. The infamous response is that we
are not living in the biblical ages anymore and this is the 90’s and
the Millennium. This response makes the presupposition that biblical
values do not apply in the present. This is far from the truth for
God’s Word stands the test of time.
Be faithful with
that special person you are going to marry. I think dating is cool
as long as it is to get to know a person more without involving acts
of intimacy. A person need not give you a kiss or have sex with you
for them to let you know that they love you. We all know that but
flesh gives way to flesh.
D
o you already
have that special person in your life that you want to be with the
rest of your life?
If you do, that is great but don't take the advice of Pitt News
columnist Rose Afriyie who does not seem to have a problem with sex
outside of marriage. Research shows that those who have sex before
marriage have a higher percentage of breakups and also divorce rate.
Do not fall into that category.
Afriyie makes it sound like there is
nothing wrong with sex outside of marriage but I beg to differ.
Going back to that special person, if
you have not met that special person, don’t fret but wait upon the Lord and depend on Him to send
that special person your way. I do believe that He will. If you
feel, you have messed up, the important thing is to confess, repent,
and move on. Our Lord is a God of compassion and His mercies and
blessings are new each morning. He will not abandon you and He will
continue to love you and help you through.
If you have found
that special person you want to live with the rest of your life, why
not make a commitment to get married with each other. Get to know
each other well and show your love in different ways except
physically until marriage.
Believe me, the physical aspect can wait.
I have seen a lot of pain that many students have gone through but I
have also seen the joy of many students that comes from God’s grace
and choosing to be obedient to Him in their lives. You can choose to
be the one that obeys God and His commandments. Psalm 19 is an
awesome Psalm with principles for relationships too. Valentine’s Day
is so special for me because it is on that day that many years ago I
had given myself to the Lord and acknowledged Him as my Lord and
Personal Savior. In essence, on that day I became a CHRISTIAN.
